This one has too many sentiments/emotions...

:( :( :(
...
Okay .. this is crazy coz i have an exam tomorrow and hv no clue abt anything .. orkutting is the last thing i shud be doing!! butttttt

... just cudnt resist this!!..
I made a painfully shocking discovery a while ago.. ! a bolt from the blue!!!...

I owned a wonderful Bookmark... ohhh I loved it.. n carried it with me as a lucky charm, as a faithful friend... as a .. ohhh too many things...
Arps n Ritz had sent it to me once on my B'day, right before exams ..
it said ... " Keep a straight face, no matter how life treats you"... with extremely cute cartoons to convey the msg .. (and they looked hand sketched by arpita--evn tho they werent actually!)...
On the reverse, a tiny wish , signed by the pair of them....
That was MY Bookmark...
reserved for all my special books...
its mere presence in my bag wud be so comforting ...
anddddddddddd .... some silly goose mercilessly tossed it in the trash bin while i was in college today :( :( ...
And she is asleep!!...
I cannot evn wake her up and demand/protest/wail ... WHY?!!..
I can see it lying there in the pile of filth.. good sense stops me from digging it out ... Dunno how m managing to resist this urge tho!.. It's like defiling the sanctity of The Bookmark .. My Bookmark.. the only bookmark I ever cared to use .. n kept so very close to my heart! ..
(Before this one, I used self made scraps of paper-bookmarks for this purpose)...
I cannot bear the loss!! nooooo....
I'm sure u 2 dont evn remember this one.. evn im shocked at how a simple bookmark can evoke such strong emotions in a feelingless cold fish like me...
but what do i do?!...wish i hadnt discovered this until morning!! ..
great ..this is just great...
first I throw away an my 'scribbling register' along with the raddi .. and now THIS!! :x ..

:( :( :( .. *sobs uncontrollably* ...

frustrated beyond all reason....

******************
blog updated.
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Little George, where are you?

I looked for you all around…

Little George, give me a clue-

A wave of hand! A snap! A sound!!


I cannot call. How will that help?

And I dunno where you might be…

eyes watch me closely as I yelp;

I blankly stare at what I (donot) see!…


Little George, a nod will do..

Tho I see u nod once in a while..

It’s like I hold one Cinderella-shoe

I want the other, to hold and file.


If I had known!
If I could see!…

Nonetheless, So it would still be…


Little George, I hit the bricks.

Where are the Slaps, where are the Sticks… ;)
**************
visit www.thedesignshop.co.in for all your designing and printing requirements.

http://straight4mthehorsesmouth.blogspot.com/

PS: Orkut has just reminded me that CD's bday is approaching...
aaahh well .... i know for a fact that im low on the 'feelings' component .. n yet ... im looking forward to Dec 15 like anything!! ...
We may be miles apart CD(n u will never even read this i know), but in my heart, I pray for you ...
n thanks for being my Guardian Angel, whom I probably did not deserve!! ..
I never did anything to earn you, that I know... it was magical ..
It was a give n give from u, always ... n now ur gone...
n there will never be another you ...
(note: not getting senti !! )
just wanted to write this down ...
as a tribute to all the smiles u gave me .. in return for being me... :)
the comic hell that u gave me is a different issue, of course ...
I just wish u cud have made me cry , AT LEAST ONCE.... so that I cud console myself that I havent lost much ......
I wish I cud give u something back...
any tiny, solitary thing ...ever!!.....

(ufff... not senti-ing at all! ... just wondering .. pondering over the magic that u had brot into my life ...
cheeeeeeeeerrss ... God bless ...

When JKR declared that Dumbledore was Gay, they made a hue and cry about it ..

Its r choices not r abilities reveal wat v truly are..

Note: I'd updated this space only to clear the air on this whole "why did JKR trumpet the fact that ddore is gay" issue...

Excerpts from an interview with
J K Rowling

Q. Did Dumbledore, who believed in the prevailing power of love, ever fall in love himself?

JKR: My truthful answer to you... I always thought of Dumbledore as gay. [ovation.] ... Dumbledore fell in love with Grindelwald, and that that added to his horror when Grindelwald showed himself to be what he was. To an extent, do we say it excused Dumbledore a little more because falling in love can blind us to an extend, but he met someone as brilliant as he was, and rather like Bellatrix he was very drawn to this brilliant person, and horribly, terribly let down by him. Yeah, that's how i always saw Dumbledore. In fact, recently I was in a script read through for the sixth film, and they had Dumbledore saying a line to Harry early in the script saying I knew a girl once, whose hair... [laughter]. I had to write a little note in the margin and slide it along to the scriptwriter, "Dumbledore's gay!" [laughter] If I'd known it would make you so happy, I would have announced it years ago!



JKR --The Potter books in general are a prolonged argument for tolerance, a prolonged plea for an end to bigotry, and I think ti's one of the reasons that some people don't like the books, but I think that's it's a very healthy message to pass on to younger people that you should question authority and you should not assume that the establishment or the press tells you all of the truth.

For the ful transcipt visit

http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/2007/10/20/j-k-rowling-at-carnegie-hall-reveals-dumbledore-is-gay-neville-marries-hannah-abbott-and-scores-more



heres the link to all my ABOUT MEs

http://straight4mthehorsesmouth.blogspot.com/ ...

anddd .. here is the link to Arpita's Blog ...

http://arpita1586.wordpress.com/

and here is the link to Ritu's ...

http://thehealershelpmate.blogspot.com/
... Happy Reading ...

I recently posted a comment on a friend's blog..
it was not specifically addressed to her tho...
and i thought this piece of my mind deserved to go up on my blog tooo...


Hello XXXX (a friend@IMI) ...

okayy ... I will make this quick...
u write really well
I dunno much abt ur creative writing skills, but ur expression, well articulated thoughts, theories ..
innocent and thought provoking questions ...
I am proud of you!
I mean you are GOOD. Really GOOD. and I loooove the rhythm in ur bit of verse... and the subtle melancholic pleasure that it conveys .... oooooohhh..
ur good!! ..
seriously..

But I cannot resist saying more this time, unlike last time, when I deleted a lot of what I had typed for comments on your previous post..

I know exactly what you mean. Things that you say. And Things that you dont.

Howeverrrrrr...
{m=I think it is understood that I have written in the first person, but I here does NOT stand for me}
My feelings are my property- so are my tears.. my melancholy, my mourning... I can rejoice in self-pitying to kill my pain... I can chuck my tears and go on with life.. I can drown myself in an ocean of tears .. or a bottle of hydrochloric acid, for that matter.
Even though people may call it a defeatist attitude, I have full liberty to feel hurt and live with the hurt- or even- die with it!
I am answerable to no one, except my loved ones/family.

But trust me, I donot have any right whatsoever to impose my feelings upon any other- unless I know (honest-to-god) that such a bond had been committed indeed!..
I cannot put anyone on trial for being wonderful, for ushering light and joy and hope in my life!!
Certainly not!
they are wonderful, sure!!
Maybe the most wonderful soul I have ever known- but :
Can I claim the same about my presence in their lives?
Worse, Can I force/impose the same about my presence in their lives?

Can my right to finding the ultimate embodiment of my highest purpose/attributes in life, impinge on theirs? Or anyone's?

Can I punish anyone for being wonderful?
and wonderful towards me in particular?

Can I take it to the extent that they lose the innate goodness- the inherent, innocent quality that exuded the wonderful aura - the warmth extended to all by defualt?
The warmth and unattached affection of which I too was a natural beneficiary?

Can I make them regret the fact of being themselves?
Make them regret the first moment when they extended an innocent hand of Friendship towards me, amongst many others??
When I accepted the hand- did I not know what I was getting into??

Can I push someone like that to the verge of hatred towards myself, and therefore towards their own self?

Ultimately, can I do this to myself?
End up being broken in spirit at the total loss of someone, who by my standards, is a real gem?
Just coz I was bent on having it studded on my heart?.. rather than cherishing the treasure, as it was meant (and allowed itself)to be...

Maybe as I pine for this gem, someone else silently offers the same prayers for me every night?

Someone whom I know and like ..but who does not conform to my definition of The One- If such a situation did exist? Would I let go of my conception of the highest order/ purpose in life .. and settle for the mere Good .. just coz they are mere Good?!
No! Certainly not...
I know the devotion towards finding the Ultimate Truth for my life, and if given a chance I would never let go of it... even if that means hurting the other in the process (however difficult that would be)
Then what right do I have to deprive anyone else of the same right in their lives?

Remember, many people will have many opinions...
If there is a reason that you rated the one person above them all, then trust their position above that of the rest..
Search for an honest answer in your heart of hearts..
and you will find it there..
What you find outside, is likely to be less of truth.. more of lies masquerading as truth, meant to be music to your ears and a balm for your aching heart...

I know I have blabbered too much.. maybe more than I have the authority to.
Let me assure you, I think you are one of the better souls I have come across in life- and I hate to see you hurt yourself over such an inane issue- which a part of many people's lives.. it is a phase that will pass. It's in your hands, to make it a learning experience, or a dirty/ugly chapter in your life.
And this was addressed not only to you.. but to everyone else who must understand this
(I am sure it is not as easy to be in your/their shoes... easier said than done, I know, still..)
This is meant for everyone else who must know..
Dont crucify people for being good. Already, people are losing faith in the innate goodness of man.
Else,as they say,

Once bitten, Twice shy...

Cheers and God bless...